The Last First…

The emotions I have running through by head are uncontrollable, so I’m not going to try and stop them. Instead I’m going to let myself be a woman and change my feelings every twenty minutes if I please. After all I went through to have this little girl, the pain from three early miscarriages, the rough pregnancy, and now a whole year of barley getting enough sleep to stand. I will now let myself cry, not sad tears, but overly emotional tears of happiness. Looking back on this past year I can definitely say my life has become richer now that I’m watching you grow.

Is this really happening was the only thought running through my head as I sat there in the bathroom, the shower on as hot as it could be, the door shut and me straightening out all the pieces of her tutu. Thank gosh for my close girlfriend who has experience in the tutu department, she answered her phone right as I called in full panic mode the night before Katia’s birthday photo shoot. I always wanted a girl, but I’m the worst when it comes to keeping head bands on her head and I never thought in my wildest dreams I would consider buying a hand steamer for future tutus. Not having a hand steamer I found myself in that hot and steamy bathroom doing things that I never imagined.

I’m Pretty sure I went overboard on everything for the birthday party, my subconscious was attempting to elude thinking about how this is the last first birthday. She is my last little one and I will miss holding my sweet itty bitty baby-now she just wiggles, kicks, screams and runs away. Except when she is tired, then she gently snuggles up close, so sweet and I hold her so dearly not thinking about anything except how lucky I am. I love that she has a fierce side, she knows what she wants, smiles when she can, pouts if she pleases-my princess you’re beautiful. How did I get this lucky? I always wanted a daughter, dreamt of who she will be, but I never could have imagined just how amazing you would be. I’m so thankful to have a daughter, it is my dream come true, my dream now is that you grow up and know how much I love you.

Despite the emotional happy tears I still morn the last little everything that you were. The last time you couldn’t sit up, the last time you couldn’t eat, the last time you couldn’t stand, the last time you couldn’t walk and the last time you couldn’t talk. Your first word was dog. You love to sing, dance, shake your booty, wiggle and go. Your always moving, never still, mostly smiling except when it came time for your first birthday photo shoot. You wanted nothing to do with it and couldn’t wait to get to the car to smile and laugh with your brother the whole way home. You’re a stinker, you’re so sweet, you are a star, you hate to eat and you’re my Princess to hold and keep.

I’ll end on this note and keep this short and sweet….I love everything about you Katia, you’re a doll, you’re so gentle, curious and adorable when you scream…


Happy First Birthday my Beautiful Baby girl! 

If ever in need of an AMAZING photographer contact Jennifer @

I can’t thank her enough for these beautiful photos!

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